All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
