that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
