i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
foreskin is a definite game changer
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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