If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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