so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize