Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
