she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
No stitches, just platelets and will power
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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