she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
