This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
