she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
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Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
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God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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