saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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