You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
