Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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