**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
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