dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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