I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize