my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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