remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
