We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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