you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
