Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
