Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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