Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
