Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
