Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
