I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
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Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"