Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
