tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
