I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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