i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
