Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
All the doctor said was why
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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