you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
