I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
