she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
