Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
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I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
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the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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