his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
