He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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