Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
