the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
