how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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