Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
