You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
