I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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