Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.