What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she pinky promised me she was 18
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......