so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.