How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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