STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me