After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.