i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
As shirtless as possible
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
