Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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