STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
