I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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