There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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