So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
