i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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