whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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