He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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