btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
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I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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