like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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