Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Randomize