I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
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It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
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Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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