Plan B is the new Plan A
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
